Monday, July 28, 2008

Medicine Lake Weekend


I’m back in Jamestown today, after a very fast weekend camping at Medicine Lake. Seems a bit silly, I guess, to drive 380 miles each way for 2 nights of camping, but I somehow hoped that I could get a break from heat and smoke. I at least got out of the heat, but not the smoke. The drive north was mind boggling. It’s amazing to drive hundreds of miles through smoke that is as thick as the famous pea soup tule fogs of winter. Well, maybe not that bad, really, I didn’t have to hang my head out the open car door to see the white line, but the visibility was down to ¼ mile in lots of areas, and never more than a mile or so at best. All the way up I-5, from Stockton to Mt Shasta and beyond.

The fires have dissipated somewhat, and yesterday as I was driving home there was a big Delta breeze cleaning out the valley. It was also an incredible experience, driving through the Sacramento and San Joaquin Valleys on I-5 with crystal clear views of the western coast range. Truly lovely, as long as I didn’t look east. The Sierras were covered by a thick dark gray blanket of smoke. Like a big wall against the sky, and yet I was in a valley more clear than I have seen it almost since I lived here. Found out when I got home that the smoke was from a huge fire that blew up just south of me here on the Tuolumne-Mariposa county line, on the Merced River canyon. What started as a 150 acre vegetation fire caused by someone target shooting blew up almost overnight and now it’s 26,000 acres and zero percent contained. The smoke in Sonora and Jamestown is again barely tolerable. Inside with the air conditioning going again is the only survival mechanism.

But for one full day, with two half days on either end, I got to sit and look out over a sweet little lake. I had bbq’d steaks and salmon, potatoes O’Brien cooked over the campfire for breakfast, quiet times watching the twilight come slowly, even though the stars never really materialized because of the smoke. It was a first for Medicine Lake. Every other time we have been there, 3 previous times actually, the air has been crystalline, pure, and often cold. We found the perfect camping spot, one more time on the lake, in the perfect campground with stone fire pits and unobstructed views of the water.

Was it worth it? It was windy a lot this time, so time in my boat was also limited, but precious. Perfectly clear water, where I could see 30 feet down to the lava rocks on the bottom. The lake was down a bit, fed by snow melt and springs, and yet lower than I have seen it before. But yes, it was worth it. Time with Mo, time where work problems aren’t foremost in my thoughts, time to knit a bit and read a bit and walk a bit and boat a bit. Time for all that easy nothing kind of conversation that friends have when things are simple. It was worth it.

I am having such a hard time lately, harder than it’s been for awhile, with working and waiting and feeling as though time is crawling along even though it’s going fast overall, sometimes the everyday stuff just seems so tedious. The hot smoky weather here makes working outside barely tolerable, actually not tolerable at all, and I am having an incredibly hard time staying focused and doing what I need to do when it comes to mapping. Employee issues surely don’t help, and hopefully those will be resolved before long as well. Big sigh there. It’s wearing me out.

In the mean time…well, that’s a book, isn’t it?! I have it somewhere on the bookshelves, “In the Mean Time”. The lesson being that we need to do something ‘in the mean time’ while we are waiting for that time to come. Deb gives me lectures on “the secret” thinking positively to attract what I want. Deanna reminds me of “affirmations” to think positively about what I want. For the moment, I am in the mean time, however, and am having a bit of a hard time reminding myself of all those spiritual lessons that I once seemed to know really. Appreciate the moment, live in the now, use the gratitude journal. I’m working on it, in the mean time, I’m feeling frustrated with having to be here, having to keep living in this place, doing work that my body is tired of doing, and my mind is overloaded and burned out doing.

So, instead, I get though the days, and drive nearly 800 miles on a 3 day weekend to feel human, and breathe some mountain air, and drive on roads that don’t have bumper to bumper cars all in a huge angry rush. It was amazing driving 33 miles on a paved road from HWY 89 to the lake and only seeing two other cars. Blessed empty roads, one of my favorite things, and something that eludes me totally here in this part of California.

So, now, back to work today, and tomorrow, and another few days, and then I’ll be leaving for a 10 day vacation to Spokane with Mo. So, in the mean time, I am going to pay attention to the present moment, work, write, and live my day to day life with as much presence as I can muster.

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