It's that time of year for me, the time when I usually try to write something about what the year has been to me. Writing backwards perhaps? What's on my mind at this moment? Actually, it's Jeremy, and Dorothy, and Shera. People I want to keep in touch with, want to write to and send along little packages and such. It's what is up front right now.
Jeremy in Iraq. Iraq. It's even hard to type. So many of us have children, sons, daughters, grandchildren all there in that place. Bel has already sent him a ton of boxes with all sorts of goodies. The perfect place for a Bel Box. What better outlet. How great for Jeremy. She is such a light hiding away somewhere in that little dirty cat filled house in Florida. Such a beacon of generosity and kindness and yes, craziness. Who knows about Bel. Except somehow Jeremy knows, and loves her. Bel and Jeremy had some kind of connection that I coudln't ever begin to know or understand, but I know it's there. Two rebels.
What has this year brought for me? So very much actually, so many travels and fun things. It's been the year of "fun". Just plain fun. Amazing. My Death Year? I keep trying to figure out how it's representative of letting go of anything at all and the only thing I can come up with is that I have let go of myself, of my old ways of thinking, of my old dreams and fantasies of romance and all that stuff, and in the place of the old me, I have found simple fun. Travel. Camping. Kayaking. Moana as my friend. Just plain fun. I had so damn much fun this year. Geez.Fun in Minnesota, in the cold, traveling with Mo over the country to be in the coldest place at the coldest time, enjoying the difference of it, seeing the great play Mamma Mia, Fun.
Fun in the early spring, finding the kayaks and buying them, then traveling to Junction City to buy the motor home. Now what in the world could be more fun that a new kayak and a new motorhome! Geez! Unless it is taking that kayak out for the first time back in March and taking the motor home for the first time to Medford and Union Creek and Lost Reservoir.
Camping, cards, fun. More fun as we went to Cathedral Rocks campground, camping in the pouring rain in the motor home, dry and comfy and we watched videos and knitted all day, walking and hiking along the river in the rain. Then later in the month, with Maryruth and Gerald at Brookings, laughing and eating and having more FUN.
So, maybe the theme of my Death year is doing life more differently than I have every done it. I have had lots of drama, lots of changes, lots of transformation, but never just plain fun, not like this. My death year is about learning to do FUN. Hmmmm. Well, maybe painting the house wasn't exactly fun, but in a way that was ok as well. Doing it with Moana, and having her party in the middle of it, Melody singing there, that was fun.
Then camping at Medicine Lake, and the kayaks. Incredible fun, for sure. And camping at Steen's Mountain, 4 wheeling in the Geo, again in the motorhome. So. kayak and motorhome equal fun. death equal fun. hmmmm somehow it's all just too interesting.
Work this year was good as well. Sarah turned out to be a delight an work wasn't so overwhelming that I couldn't manage it. Lots of projects and kudos for getting those projects done. Fun? was work fun? well, yes, sometimes it actually was fun. Remembering climbing up Council Butte and the view with Sarah, driving up Pelican Butte to show her the basin, kayaking with David and Jeanne on Recreation Creek to install the loggers in the marsh. Hiking with David over the marsh to find the elusive perfect logger site.David. My sweetie. I love him dearly and appreciate him. He's in New Mexico right now and I miss his sweetness. I am knitting a hat for him and hope that he likes it. What a real sweetheart to come into my life.
Jeremy. well, the wedding was fun at least, and traveling to Wenatchee to be with the family for that great celebration. Seeing Leavenworth and camping by the river.
I did things differently this year. I didn't spend time preparing or traveling to be with family on Thanksgiving. I had a great holiday with Mo in the moho, traveling to Mendocino, where I had never been, getting car sick a lot on those curvy roads, eating thanksgiving dinner in a diner, but yes, it was fun. Christmas was so easy, away until the last minute and then everything at Deb's house, easy and fun and no work for me when the girls did all the preparation and work.
Now, at the end of this year, I am trying to settle in to working hard in the next few weeks as I wait for the news from california. ah yes. my death year, a year of horrible disasters, my grandson going to Iraq, my Shera getting sicker and sicker, and yet the way I would characterize this year is still truly my year of fun.FUN. capital letters. The one thing Dorothy said life was NOT. and that fun was all I ever thought about. Well. Finally, it's been a really fun year. LOLOLOL even the word is now starting to make me laugh.ah well
